


Just you

by lyonessheart



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Harry Potter, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Insecure Harry, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-19 21:17:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11321925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyonessheart/pseuds/lyonessheart
Summary: Heros are brave, hero's always get THE girl. But he doesn't care for girls, he is just himself. Luckily that might just be enough.





	Just you

Harry Potter was a hero by definition.

The entire wizarding world would agree with that statement. After all he had defeated the most evil wizard of all times at the young age of 17 and had then proceeded to fight through the trials for every single wizard that did not deserve an unfair sentence in his opinion. Draco Malfoy had been one of those who Harry fought for. The verdict for him had been the stipulation of finishing Hogwarts and then leaving the country for three years or the duration of his further education, whichever might be over sooner. And Harry had fought for that and not given a damn about the public opinion. He also went out of his way to shake Draco's hand after the trial had finished.

If that was not heroic enough, he then continued to go on through another year of schooling, claiming that he wanted to earn his way in society based on his capabilities and not on his name alone. He had become fast friends with Draco, who was funny when not making fun of him, and diligent in his work.

As the year ended, Harry had said goodbye to his friend with an ache in his heart that he could not interpret. But they exchanged a promise of owling each other frequently. They had only forgotten that owling from Salem to London would be something that could not happen very often, and so their correspondence became less and less frequent until it stopped almost completely after two years. Harry knew that he was to blame for this, but when Draco had confided in him, that he had fallen in love with a fellow male student and was happy in having his feelings returned, the hollow ache in his chest had suddenly made horrible sense.

Harry for once chose the cowards way, and let the communication dwindle out. What good would it have done to tell Draco that he had the wrong guy? That he was the only one who would ever understand him? He told Ron and Hermione to leave it alone, when they tried to get him to talk about his feelings. It was bad enough that he knew that he was in love with a man, who didn't return his feelings. So he contented himself with sending a postcard once in a while and Christmas cards. Just enough so that Draco didn't feel completely cut off, but not enough to really let him see how much Harry was hurting.

Harry refused to dwell on the problem and threw himself into work, graduated top of the Auror Class in 2002 and began to work. And work was all that stayed with him for the next two years.

He was the hero, but he was also lonely.

*******

 

"I am late!" Harry skidded through the office doors, completely out of breath and very aware that his appearance was not becoming of the youngest Senior Auror in the Department. He had overslept.

Not much of a mystery when one took into consideration that the last case had caused him next to no sleep for two weeks. But he had forgotten to hand in a request to come in late, and the coffee he had acquired on his way here had ended up halfway on his shirt. So his shirt and robe were stained with coffee, his hair was a complete mess and his eyes where bloodshot. But at least he had made it to the office only 15 minutes late.

"So nice of you to join us, Senior Auror Potter." Robarts raised his eyebrow in a manner that reminded Harry of a certain blond. He still missed him, but he pushed that thought far back into the back of his mind.

"I am sorry sir."

"Well, look that it does not become a habit." The department lead nodded. "And because you missed the morning announcements, let me introduce you to our new Office Manager."

Harry obligingly trudged along, mentally going through the cases that had been put on hold. This was his only excuse for not realizing who stood in the Auror Office, his back to Harry, avidly talking to Ron.

But then the man turned and graced Harry with a smile, that caused the world to drop out from under him.

The coffee mug that had still been in his hand, dropped and splashed the last remains of its contents all over the soft grey trousers of the man in front of him.

"I do believe you know him?" Robarts quipped and sent a knowing grin Harry's way.

Harry could only nod dumbly. It seemed like time had stopped.

For most of his life whenever Harry Potter, made a spectacular fool out of himself, there was one person around to see it. Ron Weasley.

But for the last year of his schooling it had been, that if it wasn't Ron it was Draco Malfoy. But at least with Ron, Harry didn't feel as if the ground should now please open up and swallow him whole.

Admittedly - the feeling of embarrassment wasn't new when it came to Draco, but then again life had never been easy for Harry, so why should he not feel like the world's biggest idiot while the man he had missed terribly for the last couple years stood in front of him, covered in cold coffee.

Then time started up again, and Harry felt his cheeks heat up. "Oh my god, I am so sorry! Let me clean that up."

"Harry" A soft hand covered his, and Draco grinned at him "Clumsy as always. It is nice to see you again."

"Draco, long time no see." And this was all that he could get out, but he wanted to keep Draco's eyes on his face.

One might say that this too was a new development, but Harry was more honest with himself. He had always wanted Draco's attention. Even though back then in sixth grade he hadn't known just why he longed for Draco's eyes on him. But now he wanted to ask all of these questions that he had suppressed for the last two years. Most of all he wanted to know if Draco still had that boyfriend, but words failed him.

And now someone in the universe had found their peculiar sense of humour and had allotted Draco Malfoy, as their Offfice Manager to the Auror department...

 

 ***

 

Being an Auror was Harry's life. But it was karmic faith clearly, that Harry had no idea how to be a hero when it actually counted. When he thought about the figures that he had read about, as a child hidden under the covers, the real heroes like Achill and Hercules. They had a purpose, and special gifts. Harry was just ordinary. That had never been a problem, never until now.

Because it might take a hero to get Draco to smile at him again like he smiled at Johneson this morning. As if the man had hung the moon after a particular daring rescue of an abduction victim.

Maybe he would need to be a hero for Draco?

After all he seemed to overlook Harry at every turn. After their initial encounter, Harry tried for two weeks, to get anything from Draco beyond a friendly good morning, but nothing. Draco was professional, but not an iota more. And it drove Harry crazy.

Why would Draco acknowledge the other Aurors, congratulate them on their success, take interest in all of them, men and women alike apart from Harry?

That at least was how it felt like for Harry.

Harry, who missed the covert glances Draco threw him when he wasn't looking and the happy smile that Draco hid behind the reports, when he walked back into the office each day without injury or the tired face that he had sported on that first day.

Damn it! He wanted Draco to look at him as if he was something special! If that was not possible, he would like to talk to him again, like they were friends. This feeling of being held at arm's length hurt.

He needed to do something drastic. But he didn't know, how to break the distance between them. He just did his job, and he liked it. He would have liked it better if Draco appreciated his efforts.

It wasn't his fault that the last two weeks had been quiet, since he had no new case yet. Robarts had decided to give him a break. For Merlins sake, he had spend the last two days, rescuing kittens, and talking to people about noise disturbances.

When he came into the office on Friday morning, and got just another nod from Draco, he stormed into Ron's office.

"He doesn't see me."

"Oh please. As if Draco Malfoy has ever NOT seen you." Ron rolled his eyes, biting into his breakfast muffin.

"Well he is pretty good at pretending not to see me." Harry held a hand up "I know I reduced the contact. I just couldn't talk about his wonderful boyfriend."

"Well mate, you don't talk to him either. And what is there to talk about, unless you pull your head out of your arse and ask him out for a drink, otherwise there is not much for it! He is our department secretary, tell him you need office supplies, book a room for an undercover mission, the likes!"

"That is it! I will take the undercover mission, I need to get my head clear again, and just thinking about the ways that I messed this up is not going to help me."

"Mate, that was not what I meant." Ron looked at the billowing Auror robes of his best friend. "Well fuck."

 

 

*******

 

"Sir, I would like to be considered for the next undercover mission"

Robarts looked up from the files, threw his best senior auror a look and sighed, "Mr Potter, I know it was harsh on you, being kept you in the office for two weeks, but it doesn't require you to punish yourself,"

"This is not about punishing myself. Sir. I need to get out there again. The last real case has been gone two weeks, I need to get out there again and be useful." Harry was basically bursting with energy,

"Well if you are sure, we have intelligence on a potions smuggling ring. I need you to get into it. No contact with family and friends for at least two months. Think you can handle it?"

"Yes, Sir." Harry was already engrossed in the case file.

"I'll get the detail from Mr. Malfoy."

"Do that, and good luck, Potter."

 

*******

 

"Hello Draco." Harry felt the nervous energy thrum through himself. This was him, this was why he was an Auror, not because of saving kittens and calming old witches because their neighbours heard music too loud.

Draco looked up at him, a friendly smile on his face, which slipped when he saw the thick file in Harry's hand. "Senior Auror Potter, so eager to risk your neck again?"

"Not if I can help it, but someone has got to do it. Can you please get the details ready for me?" Harry was proud of the fact that his voice didn't shake, he sounded cool and collected.

Draco's face betrayed nothing, but he nodded. "It will be all done tomorrow morning. Have a good evening." He turned away. Harry was baffled, what had he done wrong now? Didn't Draco want him to be professional and stop vying for his attention?

*******

 

That night was the last for the next two months where he had a chance to talk to Ron and Hermione. And he intended to use it.

"I don't get it Mione. I am just doing my job. He is nice to any other Auror who takes on the more dangerous cases, but I get my head bitten of." He took a sip of his pint.

"And how does he treat you otherwise?" Hermione enquired, throwing a look at her husband.

"He basically ignores me. He is professional, but doesn't talk to me much."

"And have you tried to talk to him? Or did you expect him to fall all over you?" she grinned

"Uhm." he stuttered

"Thought so." She took another swallow of her wine. "You didn't manage to address the erumpent in the room, being you. Now he comes back and treats you with polite distance, just like you set up during the last years. But you want and expect him to just fall in bed with you, when he has no idea what has been going on in your life? That you actually want him to talk to you, that you want more that a working relationship."

"When you put it like this..." Harry looked at his bottle "I don't just want to fall in bed with him, I want to be with him. I have missed him so much."

"Don't you think, you should tell him that?" Her hand covered his, and the soft understanding in her eyes made his throat close up.

"Yeah Mate ask him out for a drink. What's the worst that can happen?" Even Ron chimed in.

"Ok. When I get back, I will try and talk to him. He deserves the truth."

For the first time in years he felt lighter. He was not delusional, Draco might not want him back, but he deserved to know why Harry had pulled away. Then maybe they could rekindle their friendship, although Harry didn't know if he could live with simply being friends, when two weeks of being treated with polite indifference already drove him to take the next undercover mission.

 

*******

 

When he came to, he heard a steady beeping sound.

He also couldn't move. Clearly something must have had gone wrong. He tried to recall what had happened, but the ache in his head prevented him from forming a clear thought. He was so out of sorts that he didn't see the slumped form in the chair in the corner, before he drifted back of to sleep. But he whispered the name of the person he wished would be with him right now.

"Draco," it had just been a sigh, but grey eyes aligned on the form on the bed, and the silent visitor stepped outside to inform the healer, that the patient was making the recovery as predicted.

The next time he regained consciousness, Hermione sat at his bed.

"Water" he croaked, and when he felt a straw being placed in between his lips, he sipped gratefully. After having had his fill he turned his head away.

"Oh Harry." She looked at him so relieved and with so much love. He had an inkling that it must have been a close call.

"Hey Mione." He tried to get the words past his lips, but he was already tiring. He pulls on her sleeve to catch her attention. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" She looked at him, trying to gauge his mental capacities. When she realized that he was just tired, and not concussed, she began to talk. "I don't know everything, but it seems that you blew your cover"

"Yes" he croaked "explosion at the lab and there suddenly was a little girl-"

"I know. She is safe, one of your emergency portkeys brought her to St Mungos, but why didn't you go with her?"

He just shook his head. How could he tell her, that he stayed, even though he had blown his cover, because it was more important to check for survivors in the burning building. He had pulled two men out, before the building had collapsed on top of him, he had activated his last emergency portkey at the very last moment, but had carried away burns and smoke inhalation, details that Hermione now filled him in on.

"He asked after you." Hermione addressed him "And he is furious with you."

His eyes widened, surely she didn't mean that Draco was mad at him? What for?

"Damn right I am!" Draco suddenly stood in the doorway, and he was beautiful in his anger. Harry felt his heart clench at the sight of the blond man.

"Leave us Mione, please?" Draco turned to Hermione, who gave him a kiss on the cheek, and hug before she squeezed Harry's hand.

Harry swallowed, when he found himself on the receiving end of a cool grey stare.

*******

 

"What were you thinking?" Draco hissed "Or were you not thinking at all again? Are you trying to get yourself killed while playing a hero?"

"No" he croaked "I couldn't let them burn." He closed his eyes, the words flowed even though his throat hurt "We were brewing, I was gathering the last scraps of evidence and suddenly there was a little girl, I have no idea where she came from, maybe someone left the wards open on accident. They had set up the lab in a family neighbourhood. Suddenly she was in the lab and someone must have been so startled by her appearance that they dropped the jar with the exploding ginger eyelashes, because the next thing was a loud explosion, then there was fire and she was screaming."

Draco took his hand. He still looked angry, but a little less so.

"It was as if I was back, I don't usually lose my head like this, but..."

"You had to get her out, and forgot to think about those who care about you."

"You care about me?"

"Don't push it. Keep talking." But Draco's thumb stroked over the back of his hand, belying his short answer.

"I activated the first one of my Auror emergency portkeys, and one of the smugglers must have recognized it, because the idiot set Fiendfyre lose. Draco, two of the Potioneers were barely twenty, in over their heads, they were terrified, their screams where horrible." he tapered off, now that the story was out, he realized that Draco was right in being angry. Not for one second had he thought about Ron or Hermione. Barely even spared Draco a thought, just working to get the two kids out and then the building had begun to collapse. He really had made it out at the last possible moment. He just hoped the wards had contained the fire, and kept it from spreading through the neighbours' homes.

Draco remained silent for a long while, but he held onto his hand.

"It would be very hypocritical of me, to be angry at you now. After all you came back for me once through Fiendfyre because I was in over my head. But I wish you would stop trying to prove that you are a hero. The entire world knows it. But I would prefer to have you alive."

"That's nice to know." and he fell back asleep with a smile on his face.

*******

 

When he came to again, there was a soft humming sound in his ear. As if someone was singing along to a song, under their breath.

 

“Sounds nice…” Harry whispered.

 

“It suits us, when you make some tiny adjustments to the lyrics...” That was Draco’s voice, hesitant but resolute at the same time.

 

“There is an us?” He hated how hopeful he sounded, but at the same time his heart was beating faster with hope.

 

“If you promise not to laugh, I will sing it to you, then you can tell me what you think.” Draco's voice was rough, with something he could not really identify.

 

“I would never laugh about you.”

 

It was silent for a while and he almost thought that Draco had changed his mind, but then his voice carried through the room and Harry was stunned into silence

 

_You've been reading books of old_

_The legends and the myths_

_Achilles and his gold_

_Hercules and his gifts_

_Spiderman's control_

_And Batman with his fists_

_And clearly you don't see yourself upon that list_

_But I say, where'd you wanna go?_

_How much you wanna risk?_

_I'm not looking for somebody_

_With some superhuman gifts_

_Some superhero_

_Some fairytale bliss_

_Just something I can turn to_

_Somebody I can kiss_

_I want something just like this_

_Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo_

_Doo-doo-doo_

_Oh, I want something just like this_

_Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo_

_Doo-doo-doo_

_Oh, I want something just like this_

_I want something just like this_

_YouI've been reading books of old_

_The legends and the myths_

_The testaments they told_

_The moon and its eclipse_

_And Superman unrolls_

_A suit before he lifts_

_But you are not the kind of person that this fits_

_I say, where'd you wanna go?_

_How much you wanna risk?_

_I'm not looking for somebody_

_With some superhuman gifts_

_Some superhero_

_Some fairytale bliss_

_Just something I can turn to_

_Somebody I can miss…_

 

 

Draco broke off, and Harry wanted that voice back, but Draco was not done.

 

“I have no idea, where you got the crazy notion from that you had to be a hero, to get my attention. Merlin, Harry I think you have no idea how NOT to be a hero. But I don’t want you to go out of your way, rushing into danger because you feel like I ignore you. I thought that is what you wanted, professional distance. And the next thing I know is that Ron is tearing into me, for making you go on this undercover mission, because I broke your heart. And then we get the call that you are here, in critical condition. You have no idea how that felt for me.”

 

“‘t was not your fault” Harry tried to explain. “Remember the last real letter I replied to?”

 

Draco was quiet for a while. “It was the one where I came out to you. I was so happy about my first relationship and you started to withdraw after that. I didn’t know what to make of it.”

 

“Yeah.” Harry felt tears prickle in the corner of his eyes, Merlin he wasn’t a girl, but it seemed that the last encounter with Fiendfyre had shaken some of his emotional protections lose. “When you wrote about your boyfriend, I realized that I was in love with you, had been probably for a while. And well you know I am not good at dealing with emotions. So I tried to keep in touch without letting you know what this was really doing to me. And then you came back, I made a total fool out of myself the first time I saw you, and your were so bloody polite and distant all the time. But friendly to all of the others.”

 

“So you ran away.” Draco’s finger wiped the lone tear of his cheek and the soft touch finally convinced Harry to fully look at Draco, his breath caught at the expression in his face.

 

“Have you even listened to the lyrics?” There was a fond exasperation in Draco’s voice... "Maybe, you could stop risking your neck quite as much? Cause as I said I 'm not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts or hero. But if you are just something I can turn to, somebody I can kiss. Then you are just perfect for me."

"You really could want me? Ordinary Harry?" Harry needed to be sure.

"Yes Harry although I really wish you would stop referring to yourself as ordinary." Draco shook his head a little, before a mischievous smile flitted over his face. "You never asked what my first boyfriend was like, but if you had I would have described him as a little shorter than me, with tousled black hair and green eyes. Trust me, it was a shock for me as well when Pansy pointed out that I was dating a poor Potter Lookalike." Draco moved closer "I came back as soon as I finished my education, but when I actually saw you, I froze. I just didn't know how to address what was going on. And come on I am a Slytherin, just throwing my feelings out there is not my forte, but before I could work a way out to gather the information I needed. You were fleeing the office and your best friend was tearing me a new one. And I had two months to come to terms with the fact, that you like me as well. Do I need to get more obvious? I thought you are the brave one here?"

"I think when it comes to you, I am no hero. I want to be with you so much, it scares the living daylights out of me."

Draco didn't reply with words. His hand covered Harry's cheek and he slanted his lips over Harry's . At first it was just a gentle meeting of mouths, but soon desire took over, and Harry found his courage again. His arms closed around the man hovering over of him and he pulled him as close as he could. Draco went down on the bed without resistance and Harry let out a little "uff". Out of breath, he looked at the man in his arms, the wideblown pupils, the red lips and he knew the he would never let go. Unless Draco asked him to.

"I want you just as much. And you once told me that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to acknowledge the fear and working through it." Draco was trembling in his arms and he hid his face in Harry's neck. "This thing with you, is the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced, and given our history that means a lot. But I will be damned if I let you run away again."

"Which means that you are definitely brave." Harry smiled. "And I really want to be brave with you."

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love and feed the authors soul...


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